The Quiet Business of Goodbye

The last half of 2025 has asked more of me than I anticipated.

Five deaths in five months, including my beloved mother, an uncle, a cousin, and two of my most treasured mentors.

To say that I have felt lost at sea, untethered, heartbroken would be an understatement.

And while I didn’t forget about my Clone community for one minute, I couldn’t bring myself to the computer to write creatively as I navigated the business of death.

Because that is what no one really prepares you for.

Not just the grief.
Not just the shock.
But the paperwork, the phone calls, the passwords, the accounts. The questions no one can answer because the one person who always handled it all is suddenly gone.

My mom handled everything.

The bills.
The banking.
The systems.
The organization.

And when she died suddenly, my dad had no roadmap. No list. No access. No idea which accounts even existed, let alone how to log into them or pay what was due.

So in the middle of planning a service, notifying family, and trying to breathe through my own heartbreak, I became the accidental executor, forensic accountant, and crisis manager… a load very few people understand until they are inside it.

This invisible labor that follows a death, the administrative aftermath, the financial unraveling, is real, heavy, and still wildly under-discussed.

All while grieving the woman who raised me.

This is the part of death we do not talk about enough. The administrative aftermath. The financial loose ends. The very real “business” that doesn’t pause just because your world has shattered.

What I want to offer you from this experience is something simple…

The most loving thing you can ever do for the people you leave behind is to make the business of your life easy for them to manage when you are gone.

So today, gently, respectfully, from someone who has now lived this in her bones, I want to share five simple ways to prepare for the inevitable, not from fear, but from love.

Not just for your parents.
For you, too.

***

1. Have a will or trust in place, even a simple one.

It does not need to be fancy or expensive to start. But having your wishes in writing removes confusion, conflict, and legal chaos for the people you love most.

2. Create a master list of all accounts and institutions.

Bank accounts, credit cards, loans, investment accounts, utilities, insurance, subscriptions… everything. One central document that says, here’s what exists.

3. Store passwords securely and let one trusted person know where to find them.

Not in random notebooks. Not scattered across devices. Use a secure password manager or vault and make sure one person knows how to access it if something happens to you.

4. Set aside dedicated savings for final expenses.

Burial, cremation, services, travel, legal fees. These costs arrive fast and without mercy. Having funds ready is an incredible act of care for those left behind.

5. Talk about it. Don’t make it a secret.

Tell someone where the documents are. Tell them which bank you use. Tell them what you would want. Silence is what makes everything harder later.

***

None of this is morbid.

It is merciful.

It is one of the most profound acts of stewardship and love you can offer.

I would give anything to sit across from my mom now and ask her these questions. To create that list together. To ease what followed. But I can’t. So I’m sharing this instead, in the hope that it saves someone else from carrying both grief and chaos at the same time.

If you take nothing else from this piece, take this:

Your life deserves to be honored in clarity. And your loved ones deserve to grieve without drowning in logistics.